After "examining" the churches in the city last year, I felt I needed to put everything on hold when I came across CCCNY. She is one of few Chinese churches in New York that emphasizes on orthodox doctrines and principles. And I knew I have much to learn before anything else could happen.
At times, I feel like I'm in a battle where I'm a soldier who's been ordered to stand guard at the gate, pacing up and down anxiously with the sword ready in my firmly gripping hand, waiting for the order to charge. Not knowing that I was ordered from the battle because I wasn't ready, I wasn't patient enough, I wasn't discipline enough.
I should spend time and silence to meditate patiently and pray on these matters.