Some time ago, I observed how people love to be match makers and
even match preventers. And I have wondered of the validity of such,
before the eyes of God.
Objections and refusals are often seen as "shyness" by match makers, hence their persistence.
The
Western culture has this practice of boyfriend girlfriend, as opposed
to arranged marriage. Freedom, open-mindedness, are the mottos of the
former. I believe, the concept of girlfriend boyfriend held by the West
is more of an excuse for adultery. A "virtual" temptation before the
actual temptation, thereby assuming the "virtual sin" to be irrelevant
before God. Consequently, breakups are normal, divorces are a habit.
I am obliged to make such judgment when match makers are pressing upon me where match preventers had thought they succeeded.
In the context of Christianity, a married life and a celibate life are both precious before God.
This
is not so for many "Christian" match makers. They are able to speak
otherwise, but perhaps the culture here in the West has swayed their
hearts to another belief.
Here are their assumptions and reasons and my reactions:
1. "Emotional people should get married".
Reason: (1Corinthians 7:9), such men are very in touch with their feminine sides, etc.
Reply:
That is to say that there are such group as "non"-emotional people:
"eunuchs" Matthew 19:12, who are "qualified" to lead a celibate life.
But becareful, for one is in danger of despising one of God's most
beautiful creations - the sanctity of emotions. A celibate life is a
giving up, just as the Son gave up His life for the Church. Just as
Paul gave up having a wife (1 Corinthians 9:5) for the urgency of the
Gospel. Giving up is not the same as "born without such
desire/desireless" which is a blasphemy despite how one wishes to prove
it medically because the same emotion applies and is required to the
relationship with God (1 Corinthians 7:32-33). Those who think they are
"emotionless" when it comes to that which is between man and woman are
covering their pride with a hypocritical mask of false piety.
2. "You are old enough to have girlfriend, to get married".
Reason: Time to have a family, have children, a house and a car, perfect achievement in life.
Reply: Girlfriends are for lonely people. For those who have no God, even if they think they do. What have I to do with you?
3. "Getting married is more normal, this girl? that girl? how about her?".
Reason: Boldly live out your desires.
Reply:
(From a Pauline preacher standpoint, I believe this rebuke can even and
SHOULD be directed to pastors-Had the man of God replied such to the old prophet in 1Kings 13, I believe he would have found favors in God's eyes instead of a lion) Satan! Get thee behind me! (Spoken firmly, calmly, soberly)
Since
some of the despicable assumptions above can be relativistic, one must
therefore be certain of one's devotion to Christ. Not choosing between
that which is better, but that which is given. For the glory of God, of
Christ, my Lord and Savior.
Amen.