Melancholy

How is it that Vanessa seems to be studying advanced calculations (pertaining to bits on electrical wirings involving speed?, etc.)?

How is it I tried to look at her countenance, hairline, and found it hard to recognize any familiarity and yet I was certain it was her?

How is it that this time I'm a mere observer, outsider, comparing to the last illusion?

 

Perhaps I broke my own rule, last night was it? That I took at peek searching her in Facebook. Perhaps I came across a show "FlashForward" where a foreseen (many worlds theory) affair has begun. Perhaps it was a struggle between that which was taken from me and that which was never so but an illusion?

The feelings I thought I had no more returned to haunt me in that moment. Strong feelings, unexplanable. Could I harness it, turn it into a profitable energy in me: Not suppressed, not subtituted, but carefully harnessed.

Thus, was my dream today.

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