Since my wife challenged me on this, something I came up with, I think there are many kinds of pretense. I can think of three:
- Pretending to mislead others. Usually for one's own gain. This is considered lying. Not good.
- Pretending within the awareness of everyone, for everyone's gain or entertainment. These are those whose profession is acting. This is fine. Not lying, because there's a unspoken contract between the participants - that everyone knows what's going on and agreed to play along. We can argue how this works with kids, but I'll leave this as what it is now, as type #2.
- This is the one in question, that my wife was challenging: Pretending because it's the absolute right thing to do, even though one may not agree. The persuasion of this pretense usually comes from the opposition, like in a debate or a court room, when the opposition just assumed the other side is already defeated and intend to persuade that side to at least pretend that they are lost - to not kick the rock in the foot further, so to speak. In important Christian practice, for example, a Christian should at least pretend to like preaching the Gospel, even though one may not feel like it, or even hate to do such thing. Instead of calling out the fake Christian, we can persuade them to at least pretend or try to like preaching the Gospel, to at least a family member or some friends they are more acquainted with. Although, this kind of persuasion should not be enforced, since ultimately, it's a the cost of the pretender. It's just that the cost is more than worth it.