Vanity of Vanities!!!
What is one's achievement? What is the greatness of one?
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Is not all things from God?
Who am I? The perversed paths I followed, the depths of evil I submerged myself into. How can I be worthy of the righteousness?
Is there not a God? That I have myself rejected? Why had I not seen? Why would I not seek? What is the world that I am so mindful of? What was the memory that is so corruptable? Is not all of my own desire? My own free will?
How is it that I committed such great sin against the God of Heavens and Earth. Did I not fear Thee?
Is not all vanity without the knowledge of His presence? How can one fought his limited thoughts to surpass that which is beyond. How can one assume his bondage can be lifted by his own free will? How can one pull his own hair whilst sinking in quicksand and expect to pull himself out of it?
I have walked a long way of sinful paths, I wouldn't know, I couldn't see until the Spirit of God touched me and said: "Enough? Come back!".
Lo! The almighty hand of God! Such awe! My tears could not describe. His mercy and grace touched me as I poured out my confession. Am I not His after all?
How could I have sought? How would I have seen? If Thou had not in Thy will call unto me? And Thou didst call, how could I let go? For Thy grace is irresistible.
Oh Father, Oh Lord, use me, for what vanity is there for me if Thou didst forsake me!