Be it command or by volunteer, (unfortunately the pastor is very unclear about this, as it was perhaps the way she wants it), I have fulfilled both. And am valid to claim I do not go to CCCNY retreats, in general.
I have not conflicted myself, for I have obeyed, if it was commanded; and if it was by volunteer, I've done it out of grace.
What I would deny is fellowship. For there is no fellowship between men and dogs.
If it is by volunteer, surely, I have full right to choose and not be held against any code of conduct.