Although I have no relationship with anyone, I have to admit, there are times when I've gotten more interested in certain girls in my life. Most were perhaps just "puppy love", but there are a few whom I have ached for losing them, either to someone else or they had gone MIA.
Obviously, I failed to react or was too proud of myself or my academic studies. Therefore, I've gotten to like a few girls, but never ever gotten any closer than friendship.
When I began my new life in Christ after repentance, I have taken the whole concept of celibacy a whole new turn: If there's no girl for me, I can still and I will live my life and serve the Lord. If there is, after all the past failures I've experienced, I know I will take the initiative.
I am not the kind who likes to use excuses or indirect approach. I find that an impure motive. These "methods" are supposedly to be mere friendship approach in honesty, not anything further. See, I'm open to such relationship, I'm not that "old fashion" as they would like to call it.
Nonetheless, what Dr. Stephen Tong mentioned in his lectures pertaining to this is rather important and most often failed by many of those who serve the Lord, including myself. That Jesus did not see the Samaritan woman during night time but under bright day light. The wisdom in choosing time and places is very important, especially it is of different sexes.
Will I see someone special? I do not know. But I do know that unlike before, I will not say "Impossible", for it is pride. It is also not biblical. Paul was urgently doing God's work and his co-workers could hardly keep up with him, so it is obvious that he had to give up having a spouse.
I however, am not there yet. But it is what I've been praying for. Until then, I best keep my motive pure and my conscience sober.
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