My Journal

Yesterday, many asked me why I did not sign up for the summer retreat. My response was simple, "that I'm not interested". It is amazing how they reacted.

Americans love partying, drinking beers and dancing and fooling around.

of course, this is not what my church does. However, there are certain events held by the church which is just not for every member or everyone. This retreat vacation, is certainly one of them.

Now many of them seemed to confuse "serving" with "going to retreat". If you want someone to co-work or serve, then make sure they are going to the retreat first. I remember old pastor David Chen's "method" of attracting a fellow brother to a retreat a few years back in my formal church. He said "we need drivers, please come!", and he was speechless after the dear wise brother replied "No problem, I will drive them to the camp site and then I will go back."

I used to think one would be speechless and EMBARRASSED because of the hypocrisy being exposed. But then again, these hypocrites might even have themselves fooled that "Oh...it's not my fault, it is them who don't co-operate".

Is this really how we resolve the issue? when we couldn't make something worth attracting others? Does the end justify the means? Nay, not even one single end should justify the means no matter what.

Unlike them, my time is limited. I must know what precious time my God bestowed upon me before my time in America, and use it wisely. Even if I'm invited to be speaker or any other crucial position, I cannot let this influence my judgment and God's calling.

Could God be using others to call us to something? I believe definitely. But to waste my time in idle affairs for even 1 second, I must be quick and sensitive enough to abhor.

And so, now that they are spared from causing a brother to sin, despite whatever misunderstanding they may have, it is my duty to continue keeping myself disciplined.

I should have thought deeper and sent a rather homeless young lady to a homeless shelter when she approached me today for money in Bryant Park.

People were staring, obviously wondering why such a young and not-bad looking white lady begging from table to table in the park.

When I was approached, I did what I do best. She asked me for money for food. So I said, I will buy you a sandwitch now (which is the closest food shop in the park). Then she replied I want money for food and a place to stay. I realized something's wrong, and answered her, "I cannot help you then", she said "thank you", and I left.

Maybe if I hadn't been occupying my mind with haste, for I was heading to the Research Library. I would have had better choices at hand. And I could hardly concentrate on John Calvin's sermons upon 2nd Samuel.

If we dedicate ourselves to help those in need; perhaps the greatest burden is that we have to wisely deal with the slothful ones.

I couldn't help wondering what more I could have done as I remember her walking away behind me.