My Journal

As the Oratorio Society of New York marches into the new season, I have seriously consider pulling myself out or participate in only Handel's The Messiah piece.

In light of the new work we will be singing, Leonard Bernstein's Kaddish Symphony caught my attention. After reading the score, I find it interesting in a naive way. Nonetheless, the whole reason for me to join the oratorio society is solely because of Handel's The Messiah. It was the skilled and experienced conductor, Kent Tritle, that caused me to stay.

Bernstein is no small artist. He's been thought to be the first great American musician by Dr. Stephen Tong. He has written great musics such as the tracks for West Side Story.

Even for this piece, Kaddish Symphony, requires a second critic. From the words of Bernstein himself:

I have very good luck with my colleagues, they are all so wonderful. Miss Hendricks, my soprano in Kaddish, I think was born to sing that note, that line. It is so fine and sensitive. She has all the breaths under control to sing that very difficult lullaby, and Michael Wager who does the speaking which is no small job. It's a much bigger job than Miss Hendricks because he never stops, he never shuts up. He is, I suppose, my voice and he has a tremendous argument with God, which many people find too strong or maybe even blasphemous. But which is in the old Judaistic tradition. I mean all our great Judaistic personalities of the past including Abraham who founded Judaism, and Moses and the prophets all argued with God. They argued with God the way you argue with somebody who's so close to you that you love so much, that you can really fight. You know how the more you love someone the more you can get angry with them and when you have a reconciliation, the more close you become than ever. Something like that happens in the course of this piece and it takes a really extraordinary actor to be able to perform that. [Intv. w/ NHK TV, Hiroshima Peace Journey, 1985 TC. 24:20]

However, theologically, we know that there's something wrong with this. However naive one wishes to be entertained by it. It would appear that Bernstein was struggling to discover the commonality between God-Man and Man-Man relationships. From the reformed principle, we learn that by faith, it is useless for us to defy God in any matter. Perhaps the day for the children of Israel to return to the arms of Christ is near.

An interesting subject, but I find it futile to indulge myself in this performance.

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I realize it is not right, that I should criticize other churches and not my own.

In all plainness, CCGC's has shared the common problem in many churches today. Chiefly, I judge those who have the authority in charge, NOT the DEACONS, not the members, but those who know who they are, yet pretend to deny the authority given them, they tolerated quality for quantity, laboring with enthusiasm but without knowledge, separating theology from the church, not wanting to grow in knowledge and grace of our Lord.

They refused the presence of true authority in them yet they love to talk when they are not supposed to. Come to think of it, I wonder if this is very common for baptist churches, or evangelical churches, as Dr. Tong once commented:"Having no King, everyone did that which was right in his/her own eyes."

They believe in their toleration so much that if I leave not, they would think that I concurred with them. Now with my absence, perhaps they will get the chance to ask the right question, as Martha did, and get the right answer. It is not easy to convince those who are spoiled in America how spoiled they are.

Alas, O Lord God, what can I do? I know I cannot touch thy holy Ark with my hand. What is Thy bidding, my Lord. Please make me repent even for my hidden faults, cleanse my soul, give me Thy bidding.

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Rev. David Chen loves to claim that the translation of "Vanity" in the Bible, particularly in the first chapter of Ecclesiastes, both in English and Chinese are inadequate (he prefers his own translation: "hardship", which is neither coherent with conjoining verses nor was it any close to the Hebrew term הבל "habel", which means exactly, "vanity" or vapor or breath), basically based on his deep Buddhism influenced vocabulary.

now as Christian, it is as if he wished to abolish everything that has to do with Buddhism, like those who destroyed beautiful Christian sculptures during Martin Luther's time because the Roman Catholics treated these sculptures as idols by praying to the Saints whom the sculptures represented. They couldn't draw a fine line between what is idol and what is art.

So in a way, Rev. David Chen is still trapped in Buddhism. He needs only to seek the truth, that our human limited terminology is limited indeed. If something is easily misunderstood, we must make it clear, instead of ignoring it and as if changing the whole subject completely, such is the role of Satan, hindering the truth. Of course, first, one must have himself cured in this matter before he tries to cure others.

Rev. Chen loves to gather on things that are strange and peculiar and not too popular, so that he has something to say in his sermons. I wouldn't comment too much on the interest, but on the motive, it is very unholy.

For example, one of his famous quotes: The Jews teach that even the animals are created before man, therefore we must be humble.

This statement is only good if we separate it into two different statement. There is no effect in linking them, except for misconception. It is trying to psychologically trick us by relating animals to our elderly, because we are to respect our elderly, honor our parents. And also of course, the fact that we must always be humble. This statement can easily be debunked. If the concept is if we must be humble (especially towards animals) because there are those created before us, should we be proud if there are those who come after us?

Rev. Chen loves to dig up things that have been rejected and squeeze them into credible use, he wanted to exonerate Marcion for being the first to canonize the New Testament Bible. When I corrected him with historical fact that it was Athanasius who first (367) listed the New Testament books, Marcion didn't listed all 27 books as Rev. Chen claimed, he still tried to claim that at least Marcion (110-160) listed some of the books. First of all, Marcion modified the Gospel of Luke, hence the Gospel of Marcion, with this and ten of Paul's epistles he listed as the Bible, rejecting other books as well as the whole Old Testament. I need not argue further with Rev. Chen on this matter, it would be like arguing with someone who thinks that the Chinese was the first to launch rockets into space. I don't know why he loves to do that. Does he really not have anything else to say? or is his orbitofrontal cortex truly damaged? I truly don't know.

With long observation and conversations with Rev. Chen, I find that he is actually a rather mean-spirited person at heart. When in public, he would pretend to be very friendly and enthusiastic, but when compared to his private life, it tells a different story. I believe of all his past unpleasant journey, he has come to believe that when others, pastors or normal Christians, pointed out his problems, his ignorance is his display of suffering for Christ (contrasting 1Peter 2:20).

I was amazed at first at this dual, bipolar personality of his since he's a Christian pastor who has attended the same seminary as I have and many many more than I. But then I was reminded by Rev. Tong's message: Sometimes you see a famous preacher doing something very corrupted, don't say "Oh now I know how wicked he is", but say "Oh, such weakness in man, God is still able to use him, God is great indeed!" Of course, we must not apply this statement to ourselves. We must treat others with God's mercy; yet we must discipline our own selves with God's righteousness.

For now, I think Rev. David Chen is better suited for evangelistic preaching only. Not hermeneutics, not counseling, not teaching. Unless he abolished his anthropocentric view for theocentric theology, his prosperity theology for a living sacrifice for Christ.

I shall not discuss this when not asked. And if asked, may God grant me wisdom, so that I can bring the Truth to light, that the glory of God be known in the clouds of darkness.

This journal applies a technology not just for a testimony of others whom I've encountered, but a testimony of myself, my failures, my happiness and my grief. One I am willing to open to the public, but mainly, as a virtual memory stored around the world.

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It has been three weeks, since I left CCGC, where I have left some dear ones to seek out new souls, the elects of God.

It has been seven churches I have officially visited thus far. Last morning, I visited the famous OCM of china town. There are two mandarin services and I visited the earlier one, 8:30am. It has become a habit for me to be a morning person on Sunday. Perhaps a habit worth keeping everyday. The service was conducted very similarly to CCGC, I wonder who copied who. Should have found someone and ask. They sang all the hymns from the hymnal, I love it. But somehow I was worried that this is only done so because the early congregation appears to be populated by the elderly. I did not attend the 11:15am service, because I had to rush out for the next service at a Japanese church in lower-mid town. Therefore I am not sure how the 11:15 service was like. Just as I didn't know how the 11am service at First Baptist Church which I visited two weeks ago was like. If the reason OCM has two services is to categorize one for traditional, one for modern style, then perhaps it is like the First Baptist Church (Chinese congregation), whose early congregation was more teenagers/youth populated. I shall find out soon. If this is so, I would be disappointed. Because, the only reason to split the services into traditional and modern is to attract more youngsters. Finding different ways to attract teenagers, youths of today's culture is good, but tolerating lack of discipline for entertainment, it is nothing short of inviting the lust of the world to desecrate your sheep.  Even when Jesus preached, young and old gathered together at the same time. Why can't this be done in churches anymore?  Overall, I love OCM. So far, I love the congregation, I love the pastor's sermon, I love the service.

The second church I have come to love is the Japanese American United Church. Perhaps the only Japanese church in New York City. There is one uniqueness to this church, its sanctuary architecture is a based on Japanese American, reminded me of one of Frank Lloyd Wright's works. Very beautiful. Very Clean. Giving a sense of Holiness from the Japanese culture. Service is conducted in both Japanese and English translated by whoever was giving the speech. They also sang good old classic hymnals from the Methodist Hymnbook, you can't really hear what's being sung by the whole congregation because it is sung in both languages simultaneously. I must admit, it is a little disturbing, but I supposed with 99% of the congregation knew Japanese, it didn't bother them as most of them would know both English and Japanese. I wish to revisit this church again.

And the last church I visited that day, isn't worth mentioning. This is the second church I've come across that does not take youth ministry seriously and treated Sunday Worship service so irresponsibly by allowing non-theologically trained ones to lead the service. Someone who has no theological background and sound biblical firmness is prone to all kinds of unnecessary trouble. I wonder how the older congregation was treated...when I asked for information on the Chinese Service, a lady brought me to this English youth group (which started only a few months ago) refusing to tell me about the Chinese service as if it didn't exist and as if she needed my support for their new youth group.

I noticed more than one Chinese reformed church in the city got big because of toleration, mainly in matter of worship style. The name "reformed" is perhaps used for ripping benefits off of RCA (Reformed Church in America).

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I see what happened to western influenced pastors today the same way what happened to the scholars and pharisees in Jesus' time.

They tolerated anyone as long as they are spoiled by them.

In a way, it is easy to use them.

But I have a rule, never simply accept favors from those who love to ask for favors; also, be watchful of those who love to give favors. These do not for God but for themselves, using the name of God. 

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