My Journal

Although I have no relationship with anyone, I have to admit, there are times when I've gotten more interested in certain girls in my life. Most were perhaps just "puppy love", but there are a few whom I have ached for losing them, either to someone else or they had gone MIA.

Obviously, I failed to react or was too proud of myself or my academic studies. Therefore, I've gotten to like a few girls, but never ever gotten any closer than friendship.

When I began my new life in Christ after repentance, I have taken the whole concept of celibacy a whole new turn: If there's no girl for me, I can still and I will live my life and serve the Lord. If there is, after all the past failures I've experienced, I know I will take the initiative.

I am not the kind who likes to use excuses or indirect approach. I find that an impure motive.  These "methods" are supposedly to be mere friendship approach in honesty, not anything further. See, I'm open to such relationship, I'm not that "old fashion" as they would like to call it.

Nonetheless, what Dr. Stephen Tong mentioned in his lectures pertaining to this is rather important and most often failed by many of those who serve the Lord, including myself. That Jesus did not see the Samaritan woman during night time but under bright day light. The wisdom in choosing time and places is very important, especially it is of different sexes.

Will I see someone special? I do not know. But I do know that unlike before, I will not say "Impossible", for it is pride. It is also not biblical. Paul was urgently doing God's work and his co-workers could hardly keep up with him, so it is obvious that he had to give up having a spouse.

I however, am not there yet. But it is what I've been praying for. Until then, I best keep my motive pure and my conscience sober.

[@more@]

It is not my intent to demean the children of God for the Sovereign King reigns forever.

Nevertheless, due to the irresponsibilities of the churches, laziness of church leaders without any sense of urgency, true value of quality, I must testify that my Lord, my Savior, is not a failure. For He never has, never will.

This is not to say that we must segregate ourselves from these churches churches, these "pharisees", or any church, anyone who is called to be saved.

Now, that I've seen many pastors or church leaders like to put burden on others. To make someone to serve, is never something God would favor. For He requires no blind faith. Yet these hypocrites love to see how their churches grow in this way. Some might respond: But it's because of this "persuasion" that one has come to love God more, to gradually love serving.

I have to admit, there are some who are pushed to serve with godforsaken persuasions do eventually come to serve willingly. But not because of what these so called church leaders did. For God has already prepared those who would serve Him according to His will. The sad thing is these leaders fail to realize one important truth: Not all preachers go to heaven.

Another thing is that they love to give things to people who don't need them; but when there are people really in need, they "miraculously" disappear. 

[@more@]

Often, we were reluctant to make dissensions during a "relax" moment. Because we don't want our "relax" moment to be disturbed. This is where the seed of chaos is planted.

We are not witnesses for ourselves or our friends, we are witnesses for the TRUTH, whom we call Lord and Savior.

Therefore, it is wrong to escape from disagreements and conflicts. Conflicts MUST be faced, for Truth's sake. However, it is the ATTITUDE to face disagreements that we often fail to master.

Nonetheless, this TRUTH is also the source of TRUE LOVE. For we should LOVE in TRUTH and for TRUTH's sake which dwells in us and shall be with us forever. (2 John 1:1-2)

[@more@]

I realized that many pastors under the Evangelism movement LOVE to make assumptions and hypothesis as basis of Truth; but hurl sarcasms against those who like to SHARE THEIR hypothesis for the purpose of improving analytical thinking.[@more@]